DEEP IN MY GUT
By: Rachel Herman
By: Rachel Herman
"When it rains it pours" they all say
But what if that were to happen every day?
Your life slowly starts to spin out of control
As you sink further into a black hole
I believe everything happens for a reason
Yet I don't get why my body's committing treason
I have a disease by the name of Crohn's
And that is the essence of this poem
Putting it simply Crohn's is a bitch
Like not being able to scratch that irritating itch
Only 100 times more intense with immense pain
That teeters your state to the verge of insane
Nausea, bloating, cramping, fatigue to name a few
Mouth ulcers, fever, diarrhea, and blood in your stool
Before you know it you're as skinny as a rail
Then anemia kicks in and turns your skin very pale
Food is the essence of survival and life
But with this disease it can cause much strife
Food is supposed to satiate and feed our souls
Not leave us running in anguish to the toilet bowl
Hospitals soon become your second home
Which leaves you scared with your thoughts alone
No vein is unharmed as they continue to poke and prod
With your body in great havoc, you feel utterly flawed
Sometimes the pain is just too much to bare
Which only reminds one that life is not fair
The question that always surfaces is "Why me?"
Why am I trapped in a prison that has no key?
Trying to stay positive, you hang onto hope
But that is like playing with soap on a rope
Because you cannot grasp onto something that dangles in the air
There is always that risk it will fall as you're left in despair
The hardest part is realizing people you thought would be there
Disappear like a real magic act, vanishing into thin air
The sick and the healthy live in two separate worlds
Which are hard to connect without being imperiled
It is difficult to recall how healthy feels
As you rack your brain for that specific reel
Trying to remember the day you didn't need medicine to survive
Just because you are breathing doesn't mean you feel alive
There is so much beauty in this world we reside
But does beauty hold meaning if one becomes blind?
When your daily life's reality is engulfed in pain
You fear your one existence will be left in vain
You are very talented, and your poem really makes you think. I am training to work as a Continuing Care Giver and I will be dealing with people who suffer with Chrons. Chrons is part of a presentation i am doing for my class this coming week. I hope you don't mind, i'm going to print out your poem and read it as part of my presentation. Being a CCA is so much more than just meeting peoples physical needs, we want to be able to help a person in holistic way and that means understanding and insight into what they are going through and this poem really enlightens.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been on here in a while, and I just saw this. I appreciate your feedback, and am glad my poem can be utilized as a resource to educate.
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