Time Does Not Heal All

Only when you really stop to think,
Do you allow yourself to truly feel;
To feel the pain you push down deep inside
The only pain that time won't heal.

Life passes by all too quickly,
As the years flash by like a lightning's bolt.
You go through the motions on autopilot,
Until the present moment gives you a jolt.

Pain is a feeling that is impossible to ignore,
It is a greedy thief that knows no bounds.
No matter how hard you try to fight
It strips you raw with no hope to be found.

On your shoulders a large burden resides
It gains strength and weight with each passing day,
Like a tumor that grows without your permission
It eats at your mind and spirit like they are prey.

The sadness creeps up within you slowly
Hibernating in the wake of the dawn's rays.
As you distract your brain with reasons to smile
In the shadows of the moonlight, it always find its way.

For even when you are physically exhausted
And your mind is utterly sleep deprived,
The sick sad darkness comes along haunting
Demanding a reason to justify being alive.

For no one wants to consciously accept
That a disease can dictate your very life,
No matter how hard you try to plan for the future
It cuts through your goals like a jagged knife.

If it's not one thing, it is sure to be another
When one body part heals, another begins to hurt;
At the exact moment you convince yourself to never surrender
The fear and anguish leaves you uncontrollably inert.

Just like Crohn's Disease, the feelings I harbor have no cure
These words are the only treatment I can possibly attain.
In this brief moment, you might attempt to understand how I feel
As I capsulize my reality, so my one existence will not be left in vain.

I am not searching for anyone's sympathy or sorrow
For whatever reason, these are the cards that I was dealt.
I will have good days even if my life is nothing like I ever imagined,
But the thing about pain is that it demands to be felt.