Chronic Disease & Ambitions

 

Getting diagnosed with Crohn's right after high school was such a crucial turning point in my life. Everything I was planning for fell through, as this disease came in uninvited and turned my world upside down. I was supposed to attend DeSales University in Central, Pennsylvania. When the reality of my illness sunk in, I realized I wasn't ready to share a dorm room with a complete stranger. Crohn's and its symptoms were so new to me that I could not fathom the thought of sharing a bathroom with people I didn't know. I was in a vulnerable state and needed the security of my own room and family for support.
I decided to enroll in classes at the local community college. I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to be, but I knew I wanted to do something that involved working in a hospital. The crazy part was the more hospitalizations I encountered, the more my desire for a career there grew.  As a continuous hospital patient, I knew how someone in my shoes would want to be treated.  Empathy is such an important part in working with the ill because a patient can feel true sincerity over a snow job. 

 
Being new to the world of college is difficult in itself, but pairing that with a chronic illness while adding a job and social life, was proving to be more difficult than I ever anticipated. My life began to resemble a roller coaster ride as my good and bad days were intertwined.   I tried very hard to juggle all of my responsibilities without allowing my disease to slow me down. I would sit in class with the worst stomach pain, forcing myself to make it through the entire lecture.  Some days were so bad, I would go  an entire day of classes with not even a sip of water, using my breaks to throw up in the bathroom.  The flare-ups got so severe they forced me to withdraw from several semesters, even if I only had one more month left. I was so discouraged with Crohn's as the thought of never being a success haunted my thoughts every night.

 

 Obviously taking classes on campus wasn't working for me, so I needed to take a new course of action.  Taking classes online had never been a previous option because I am more of a hands on learner, but at this point I had no other choice.  School is very important to me as I have always held high aspirations for my life.  Taking online classes was a perfect fit.  Even when I got ill in the middle of a semester, I was able to take school with me to the hospital without the fear of having to drop another semester.

As the years went on, I changed my career choice several times in attempt to find the best fitting job for me.  I would love to be super optimistic and say I could be anything that I desired, but I am also super realistic and know that just is not possible with a chronic disease.  My dream has always been to be a writer, but being realistic again, I would love to work in radiology as a radiologic technician.  I have had more x-rays, cat scans, and MRIs than most people have had in a lifetime.  Despite that, I am fascinated by the technology and the human body itself.  People don’t realize how lucky we are to have this technology to discover illness and issues that we would have never known were there otherwise.

Unfortunately, I have not been well enough to complete the program as it requires a Monday-Friday attendance.  Due to my recent injuries and bad knees (explained in My Story tab) my life is at a standstill for the moment.  Even though my road to success has been a very bumpy one, I am not one to ever give up.  The many obstacles I have been faced with may have lengthened the time it is taking to me to accomplish my goals,  but to each their own.  Each step I take forward, be it big or small, is still a step in the right direction. No matter how long it takes me to reach the finish line, at least I am working toward a commendable goal, which is more than a lot of healthy people can say these days.